For lack of any better words, she is a stupid bitch. As immature and school-girl as I sound right now, I really dont care. Thats because she has absolutely brought me to the point of insanity, along with the worst anxiety I have ever had. This girl has made me question my view on humanity and has put a wedge between me and my family.
She has brought a baby into this world with nothing to care for him with. She is blatantly playing the system. Living in my mothers house FOR free for the past 2 years. Has worked MAYBE 40 hours that entire 2 years. She sits on her lazy ass and doesnt clean the house, do laundry, take care of the dogs, NOTHING. She has brainwashed my brother into thinking that his family is not good for him. She has beaten him down mentally and made him feel worthless. I know because I see and hear how she berates him. "stupid. you're so slow!" No matter how you may justify this type of abuse, it hurts deep within his core, I know.
I can only imagine how she will treat their son :( Makes me sad just thinking about it.
Unfortunately, for Ethan, Medicaid doesn't cover circumcision. So of course, my Mom is left to pick up that tab as well. ($200 that she DOESN'T have!) She gets food stamps, WIC, food stamps, free gov't cell phone (which she left in her jeans ... and my mom washed by accident <- should be doing your own fucking laundry)
Her Mom (in CA) sent her papers to file for low-income housing in CA. But she has fraudulently filled them out. Saying shes been living in CA the past 2 years. Um, Im not too sure how it all works as far as the state needing proof of occupants. But if they need Ethan's birth certificate, they'll obviously see that he was born in NC. Unless she can explain or come up with some elaborate lie, I dont know how she'll explain that. Or the short stint as a hostess job.
My heart is breaking for my Mom. She is the sweetest, nicest, most compassionate person I know.. to a fault. It ALWAYS backfires on her and its breaking my heart. I am becoming more and more angry as the days and drama goes by. I try to pep Mom up. Tell her all the good things about her and her life and how she should stand up for herself. She is 51 and it is time for her to live her life the way she intended it to be. She has raised her children. She has earned her "freedom" to do as she pleases.
But no, she lives in a house where she feels she is just renting a room. Jesse & Michellei completely take over. Mom just comes home. Showers. And goes to her room. Its like she enjoys being punished for things she hasn't done. All she is guilty of, is coddling her son who is 21, and letting his dirty girlfriend mooch off of her.
She talks shit CONSTANTLY on her Facebook and in her email she has journal entries (I had her password, so I looked at a few things out of curiosity...) The shit I found was fucked up!
She talks about wanting to poison my brothers dog and my moms dog because they are "ugly" and they get on her nerves. Also, she talks about how nasty the house is (not true) If you are home all day, you dont work, you dont go to school, you dont pay rent... the least your lazy POS ass could do is sweep, maybe some dishes, was a load of towels. Its not that hard. But, I have a feeling this is how she was raised, yet wont do anything to change her future. She mentions that she doesn't want her family to meet mine because we're Country White People. Um, yes, we are. What did you expect when you started dating a WHITE boy, IN THE SOUTH no less?
OH! And when I was 4 months pregnant, she posted on her facebook (I dont have facebook but my cousin showed me what was posted) "Im gonna beat that pale bitches ass, I dont care whos sister she is" WTF. If I wasnt pregnant, I would've beat the wheels off that bitch. Seriously. I have never in my life been in a fight.. but I have so much rage for this girl, it wouldn't be too hard to get me going.
I dont want my nephew, my blood, to be raised to think its okay to mooch off the system. To not work. To live off the hard working citizens who PAY for THEIR homes, their food, their health care... when they are OBVIOUSLY able-bodied people who can work for a living. Blows my fucking MIND! If I grew up like that, Id want to make a better life for myself, my future family. But I wasn't raised like that. I was raised that you work for what you want and need. If you cant afford it, you dont need it.
I miss my Mom. I miss the happy person she was for a short time (the time after Dad was removed from our home and the time she spent with Gary.. her now fiance who isn't all he's cracked up to be anymore) <- but thats a whole nother venting post to come soon, Im sure.
My Mom has sacrificed so much. She deserves nothing but the best of life. I wish that I could make that happen for her. But you can only tell a person something for so long, until its no use. You cant change people. You cant make them be or do what YOU want or feel is best for them. Sometimes they just need to fall FLAT ON THEIR FUCKING FACES to know what life is all about, and whats worth living for.
But Mom hasn't been able to do that with Jesse. Im not sure if its because she feels guilty for spending all her time with Gary after Dad was gone. Jesse was only 13 when that happened... I was 17, dating my now husband, and Jesse was kinda the tag along. I regret a lot from my past as far as my brother goes. I have written him an apology letter for all the things I did wrong as a big sister. I was mean to him. I pushed him aside and wanted to spend all my time with my boyfriend. I wasnt his Mom and I didnt want to have to act like it. Jesse looked up to Steve something fierce back in the day and it was cute. But we all had a hand in being mean to him and making him feel worthless. That, I will never ever in a million years forgive myself.
I cry about it... often. I miss my brother. I miss my Mom. I miss my family. Yes, I have a new family now.. a family of my own. But there's nothing like your Mama and your Bubba. Nothing.
If they do end up going to Cali, I hope for Jesse's sake, that he makes a life for his family. He's so emotionally fragile. He's a recovering alcoholic.. however, trading alcohol for Mary Jane is NOT what I call sober. He thinks its better than drinking, so he's smoking and taking pills instead. I dont get his reasoning. But whatever... like I said, you cant change people.