We (Me, Steve & Maddie) live with the in-laws, as anyone who actually reads my extremely boring blog knows. Taylor is Steve's (my husband) cousin. She was placed with Steve's parents when she was less than 2 years old from her dead beat, alcoholic mother. Steve's parents have provided absolutely everything for her. Other than the necessities ... Clothes, shoes, lap top, Wii, dvds, games, rides to her friends house.. you know, all the things parents do.. etc. She even has a really cute room. Well, it'd be cute if she kept it clean. She is a complete slob. I mean, I remember being messy as a teenager. But there is a difference between messy and dirty. So I can understand why she is the way she is.
That being said, I want to help her. I have tried to help her (notice a recurring theme in my posts... wanting to help people be better...) Obviously this is not working to my advantage.
She is blatantly disrespectful to every member of her family, including me. This sucks, because all I've ever wanted for her is the best. I try to teach her personal hygiene. How to apply the most subtle of make up, (she's going into high school next year, and I worry about how it will go.) And how to do her hair.
I let her borrow my curlers. What does she do? Leave them in the foyer. On the floor. Scattered around. What if one of the 6 dogs we have got into them and had to have surgery? So I no longer let her borrow them.
She let me have her pink Rainbow sandals, because they were too small for her... yet she asks to borrow them all the time. I don't believe in "Indian Giving" so I don't give in. I did let her wear them this past weekend, when we went to the mall. ((One thing about Rainbows... is that they mold to your feet, and anyone else who wears them, won't be comfortable)) She didn't care. But I did. She's not the cleanest person by any means... and I almost don't even want to put them back on my feet. I originally planned to dye them green when she gave them to me... so hopefully that'll deter her from asking to wear them.
I know most people would just say to mind my own business when it comes to other peoples kids... but I saw screw you. I see a lost little girl. A little girl who knows her birth mother didn't care enough about her to take care of her. Dana has told me stories and one that stuck out was when a neighbor saw Taylor through the living room window. Screaming at the top of her lungs in her crib. No one was home. No one. For hours. It literally breaks my heart. This poor girl must think that no one wants her.
Dont get me wrong. Steve's parents aren't mean to her, nor do they give her outrageous tasks. Her main chores are:
- Clean the dishes each night
- Keep her room clean (which her parents never check)
- And occassionally let the dogs out, feed & water them (they have automatic feeders.. so she only has to fill them up every few days)
That's it. But she complains. Yes, I know this is what teenagers do... but I guess living in it makes it that much more stressful and more intense than if we didn't live here.
I feel for her. I can only imagine how I would feel if my Mother wasn't fit to take care of me. Making me live with another relative. Im sure she has a huge amount of resentment towards Dana, as well as her birth mother, Debbie. I think this whole situation makes me want to get that much closer to her. But she just pushes me away. I just want to help her. To guide her. To make sure she's doing all she needs to be an amazing person of society. But all of my love, care, devotion (just like Jesse & Michellei) falls on deaf ears.
I guess I just need to let go. To let go of wanting to help others.
To let go of wanting the best for the people in my life.
To let go of hoping she will one day come around.
It just breaks my heart (seems a lot of things break my heart these days... not healthy)
I'd post this on babycenter, in hopes of getting comments and support, but I have this niggling feeling that I would only get blasted for even sticking my nose in their business. But that's the thing right there.. they make it my business.
Okay... I've had a little too much wine and Ive got a little more to talk about... so on to the next post.
♥ Meg